I stutter, but that was never my problem

I had, aaaa no, I have a speech impediment and that is stuttering. But my stutter was never blocking me to do the thing in my life. It was a perspective, that was the cause which was holding me down. It was my fear, an intense fear of fear, that I will stuck at some word, that word will never come out of my mouth and people will laugh at me. I was always thinking about others and what they will think of me rather than what I was thinking about me. I was not able to see that this fear of mine doing so damage to me than the actual problem.

I was most afraid of others laughing or showing pity to me, the humiliation, there was a time in my life where I was so depressed and had a very little self-esteem 😭. The frustration of not able to do a simple task such as telling my name without hesitation was crushing me from inside. Rather than answering in school, I used to say I don't know, I was ok to look like stupid/dumb than classmates laugh at me.

It was not soon enough that I have realized people are gonna laugh at me for tons of reasons and stuttering was going to be just one of them. Even I laughed at people many times and made fun of them. Later in my life somehow I passed the phase and got on the way to change my perspective around stuttering.

It's India with billions of people and I have never met a single guy or a girl till date who stutters, this is just freaking crazy 😠. Once I recorded my own voice, when I heard it, it was funny and I literally laughed at myself. When I realized that I was laughing at myself it felt like a burden got released. I wasn't thinking about others anymore and my biggest problem got solved which was fear 😨.

Ok, so now the highly decorated problem was got solved, so, whats next?

I started to get my life back on track and to repair the damages made by me. Education was suffered the most so I started focusing on study, getting over of my fear with building up my lost confidence and self-esteem. I realized one thing when I was focusing my fear I was turning on the negative side of life, which was drowning me more deeper. As I started focusing on my education, getting my life back on track I was moving towards the positive side of life. There were fewer bullies and more opportunities. 

I knew that I needed to overcome of my stuttering but how that was the biggest question mark in front me. My friends played a very crucial part into overcome stuttering, they helped me a lot. In such situation support from your loved ones is really necessary. It surrounds you with a positive aura. I have tried many technics to speak fluently, few of them were more suitable for me. They started to pay result and I was able to see the difference. The way I become more fluent in speaking my confidence and self-esteem was(is) on cloud 9.

Breathing Yoga(Pranayam) helped me most, it did not just made my health but also made me fluent in speaking. I used to record my voice and later hear it, to find where I stuck and in what situation. There were specific sounds where I used to stuck, I breathe before speaking these sounds and while exhaling I pronounced those words(sounds) and I didn't stuck anymore. Sometimes I also use singing method while giving a presentation or talking in public.

Though I improved a lot, I still stutter a lil bit which is slightly noticeable and under stress, its increases lil more. Today I am a software engineer with many side businesses and stuttering didn't even matter to me anymore and proud to be recovering stammerer.

These are some technics which can be used to overcome stuttering.

1. Mcguire Programme

2. Breathing(Pranayam) & Vocal Yoga

3. Singing technique

4. Record and Play

5. Constantly keep talking, if possible be loud

I overcame my problem, if anyone out there needs any help or just want to talk, you can always
Email: jahagirdar.ajinkya1@gmail.com or
Skype: ajinkya.jahagirdar1

My other blogs.

1. Software Testing from Home
2. My First Trek
3. Smart QAs

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